the dilemma i thought was resolved has actually not..although i guess it's gone from a point of uncertainty to more surety & clarity.
as much as it feels right, i'm fearful of the steps of faith needed or rather just the confrontation bits of it.
it's THE MOVE!
something i'm not too familiar with and have never had to do all my years of walking this christian walk.
Something I've avoided whenever I could.
I asked God is this the right choice. is this just purely my own wishful thinking and not His will afterall.
After much deliberation & prayer, i feel quite right, though not a 100%, in my spirit to go ahead and do it.
the numbness, the oblivion and the unwillingness to commit has motivated me to get it right all over again. Perhaps, i really should just do it.
Spoke with a couple of people just to sound the many thoughts running through my mind. it does seem to all point in the same direction.
I guess at the end of the day, as long as my faith does not waver and planting myself in some place where I can grow my roots in Him, that's ultimately most important.
Now, it's the talks I need to get through before the departure that I am trying to put off.
Lord, please give me the confidence and honesty in expressing my thoughts and feelings that in this season, it's just not the right place for me.
I thank them for the opportunity to grow and am thoroughly grateful for the sowing of seeds in my life and for just providing one of the best foundations of faith.
To be where I am today, I am very thankful.
Of which, I surrender ALL. To where this leads, i trust it with Faith...
