as 2010 is unfolding and after having numerous chats with ppl and of course w my heavenly Father. ... i'm feeling... not the best  at the moment.

i'm actually feeling kinda lost... 

not knowing where to go or rather the easier option seems really tempting to me yet knowing my calling dont seem to be where the easy option is drives me crazy.

to stay in sg or to head back to melb and try it out myself?

to apply for TR or PR? 

to just apply for jobs here in sg and see the response i get or just wait till i head back?

all these questions...... 

of which i am caught in a dilemma.. having no answers to.

i need to figure out where He has called me to. i need to figure out where the path leads to. 

i need direction!

is this cause i've been too sheltered.? with everything provided for ? 

i actually feel inadequate now that the vast and harsh job market is all that i'm facing. i'm stepping into the real world so to speak. i've finished my masters with ZilCh work exp. who's the kind soul who's willing to give me a chance to make a start? confidence i have to build up now..

heading into the unknown and with ppl who may not be the nicest beings in the society. that's how it works. of which i dislike but have to embrace. part and parcel of working life.

embracing jeremiah 29:11 close to heart. i need heart and mind revelation and the FAITH to not waver and hold on to that promise.

Get me out of the emotional merry-go-round. it's no longer the rollercoaster with the highs and lows. this is driving me in circles. i wanna get off!

1 more mth till i head back. will i suffer an emo breakdown then.? having to face everything on my own?

i'm responsible for the decisions i make. i sure do hope i make wise ones. ppl think too highly of me. i sure hope to live up to expectations. 

in any case.. i trust.. with Him, all is possible. AMEN.. 

having been one of the far too emo post i ever did. it's what i really feel at 2am in the morning as i reflect upon myself...... keep me in ur prayers! thanks.